No-gift policy for Taylor Swift, but how much should you give at a wedding?
Being a wedding guest can be expensive, though the lucky few invited to megastar Taylor Swift's rumoured wedding bash are likely to be able to afford it.
There's travel, accommodation, you might even treat yourself to a new outfit - then there's another cost to factor in: the present.
While Swift and Kelce have a no-gift policy, it's now commonplace for invitations to read: "Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund."
But replacing the traditional gift list with bank transfer details, can leave guests with a new etiquette dilemma: how much are you expected to give?
Wedding list service Prezola says it has seen a rise in couples inviting guests to pay for specific experiences rather than a generic cash pot. It says the average guest contribution is £116.
But expectations can vary widely, depending on everything from closeness and culture to the cost of attending.
Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie contribute between £250 and £400 depending on how close they are to the bride and groom and what they can afford at the time.
"We don't have that many friends, so it's nice to give generously," he says.
At his own wedding, most close friends gave between £100 and £200, one couple gave £400 and they received £2,000 from Jonny’s dad.
They used it as spending money on their 17-day honeymoon in Canada which Johnny says they'd saved for "because it's not worth the risk of relying on donations".
But not everyone is giving hundreds of pounds.
Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, says she "always gives £50 in a card" and found that the average contribution to her own honeymoon fund was the same.
"We mentioned money on our invitations and also created print-out QR codes for people to scan at the bar," she says.
She received £3,000 which will be used as spending money for the honeymoon which she had already paid for.
According to Hitched, a UK-based wedding planning website, the average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon.
Hannah says she also received physical gifts despite asking for money.
"We got a lot of champagne and some flute glasses from my boss at work, which were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted," she says.
Jonny says some wedding guests will ignore the request for money because they want to give something more meaningful.
"They mean well, but it probably means you'll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we did, as well as some physical gifts too," he says.
She married abroad in Ibiza and "didn't expect any gifts", but guests still gave about £100 per couple.
"We had hoped we'd conceive naturally, but we'd started trying long before our wedding and it wasn't happening," she says.
When "reality kicked in", using the money for IVF felt like the right thing to do. It covered a large chunk of the cost, and she says she is grateful to friends and family for "playing a part" in bringing her son into the world.
Georgia Finch, 26, says she asked for money towards a loft renovation and received £2,500 from 80 guests, which "was amazing" and covered roughly half the cost.
As a wedding guest, Georgia says she likes to contribute cash and particularly liked it when a colleague set up a site where people could pay towards specific honeymoon experiences, such as a couples' massage, scuba diving or a luxury breakfast.
It made it easier for her to buy an experience as the most she would personally give to a fund at the moment is £20, because "money is tight right now".
How much to give can also expose cultural differences.
Ewa Lewszyk-Howes says her Polish relatives gave between £250 and £400, while the usual contribution from her husband's English friends and family was around £100 per couple.
"But that comes with different expectations," she says, explaining that Polish weddings are often expected to include a large celebration, endless food, an open bar and free accommodation.
"In the UK, guests are more likely to spend that money on travel, hotels, taxis and other costs that come with attending," she says.
Wedding guests face variable gift-giving norms in the UK. While some couples request no gifts, others ask for cash contributions toward honeymoons or life events. Average contributions range from £50 to £400 depending on relationship closeness and guest finances. Some couples use modern platforms like QR codes or curated experience lists to clarify expectations. Actual contributions often exceed stated requests, with guests sometimes giving physical gifts alongside cash. Cultural background affects norms significantly: Polish families typically contribute £250–£400, reflecting traditions of larger celebrations with extensive hospitality, while UK guests often budget around £100 per couple to cover their own attendance costs. Some couples have used wedding funds for purposes beyond honeymoons, including IVF treatment and home renovations.
Being a wedding guest can be expensive, though the lucky few invited to megastar Taylor Swift's rumoured wedding bash are likely to be able to afford it.
There's travel, accommodation, you might even treat yourself to a new outfit - then there's another cost to factor in: the present.
While Swift and Kelce have a no-gift policy, it's now commonplace for invitations to read: "Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund."
But replacing the traditional gift list with bank transfer details, can leave guests with a new etiquette dilemma: how much are you expected to give?
Wedding list service Prezola says it has seen a rise in couples inviting guests to pay for specific experiences rather than a generic cash pot. It says the average guest contribution is £116.
But expectations can vary widely, depending on everything from closeness and culture to the cost of attending.
Jonny, 34, says he and his wife Lottie contribute between £250 and £400 depending on how close they are to the bride and groom and what they can afford at the time.
"We don't have that many friends, so it's nice to give generously," he says.
At his own wedding, most close friends gave between £100 and £200, one couple gave £400 and they received £2,000 from Jonny’s dad.
They used it as spending money on their 17-day honeymoon in Canada which Johnny says they'd saved for "because it's not worth the risk of relying on donations".
But not everyone is giving hundreds of pounds.
Hannah Rose-Thorn, 30, says she "always gives £50 in a card" and found that the average contribution to her own honeymoon fund was the same.
"We mentioned money on our invitations and also created print-out QR codes for people to scan at the bar," she says.
She received £3,000 which will be used as spending money for the honeymoon which she had already paid for.
According to Hitched, a UK-based wedding planning website, the average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon.
Hannah says she also received physical gifts despite asking for money.
"We got a lot of champagne and some flute glasses from my boss at work, which were nice, but we have a lot of that so it will most likely get regifted," she says.
Jonny says some wedding guests will ignore the request for money because they want to give something more meaningful.
"They mean well, but it probably means you'll get a bunch of John Lewis and M&S vouchers, like we did, as well as some physical gifts too," he says.
She married abroad in Ibiza and "didn't expect any gifts", but guests still gave about £100 per couple.
"We had hoped we'd conceive naturally, but we'd started trying long before our wedding and it wasn't happening," she says.
When "reality kicked in", using the money for IVF felt like the right thing to do. It covered a large chunk of the cost, and she says she is grateful to friends and family for "playing a part" in bringing her son into the world.
Georgia Finch, 26, says she asked for money towards a loft renovation and received £2,500 from 80 guests, which "was amazing" and covered roughly half the cost.
As a wedding guest, Georgia says she likes to contribute cash and particularly liked it when a colleague set up a site where people could pay towards specific honeymoon experiences, such as a couples' massage, scuba diving or a luxury breakfast.
It made it easier for her to buy an experience as the most she would personally give to a fund at the moment is £20, because "money is tight right now".
How much to give can also expose cultural differences.
Ewa Lewszyk-Howes says her Polish relatives gave between £250 and £400, while the usual contribution from her husband's English friends and family was around £100 per couple.
"But that comes with different expectations," she says, explaining that Polish weddings are often expected to include a large celebration, endless food, an open bar and free accommodation.
"In the UK, guests are more likely to spend that money on travel, hotels, taxis and other costs that come with attending," she says.
Being a wedding guest involves multiple expenses including travel, accommodation, and gifts Taylor Swift and Kelce have a no-gift policy for their rumoured wedding Many invitations now read: 'Your presence is enough, but if you would like to give us a gift, please donate to our honeymoon fund' Wedding list service Prezola reports the average guest contribution is £116 Individual contributions documented in reporting range from £50 to £400 depending on relationship and affordability Some couples request cash toward specific experiences rather than generic funds The average UK couple spends around £4,000 on their honeymoon Some guests ignore cash requests because they want to give something more meaningful Polish wedding traditions typically involve larger celebrations with extensive food, open bars, and free accommodation, contrasting with UK norms where guests budget for their own travel and hotel costs Cultural background significantly influences gift-giving expectations and amounts
- Wedding gift amounts in the UK typically range from £50 to £400, with no standard expectation—contributions vary based on closeness to the couple and guest affordability
- Increasingly, couples are replacing traditional gift lists with requests for cash donations toward honeymoons, renovations, or specific experiences like travel activities
- Cultural and geographic factors significantly influence gift-giving norms; Polish tradition typically involves £250–£400 compared to £100 per couple in the UK, reflecting different celebration expectations